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The current period signifies a full decade since the word “ghosting” hit the common lexicon. Initially, the notion that someone could abruptly cease all contact with a partner without a word seemed like the peak of indignity. How naive we were. In the ten-year span since, seeking a significant other has only become more perplexing – an frequently pointless pursuit in embarrassment that is increasingly defined by online jargon.

Zoomers, a demographic who came of age during a social isolation epidemic, a masculinity reckoning, and a widespread challenge on the freedoms of females and the queer community, faces a far messier landscape than their millennial predecessors could ever fathom. And so their romantic lexicon has grown more elaborate and more unhinged, with phrases like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” pushing the limits of your mental fortitude.

The following list is a extensive glossary to the words Zoomers is using to talk about romance, intimacy and the search of both. To channel one of the recent most popular online sayings, by the end of this guide you’ll long to get back to God’s country – because where that is, it doesn’t have “ideological catfishing”.

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The Letter A

Realness – In the view of Zoomers, dating’s ideal is presenting as your real, unvarnished self. Best wishes with that!

B

Bird theory – A TikTok trend connected to a methodology developed by relationship scientists, in which you bring up something minor – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and note whether your date's reply is engaged or disinterested. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Black cat girlfriend – Gen Z’s answer to the “quirky fantasy girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking indie music and eschewing commitment, the black cat girlfriend prioritizes herself while radiating mystery and independence. (She may yet have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Seat theory – This means choosing someone who supports you proactively. If you walked into a room, they would pull up a chair for you to sit down.

Choremance – A outing where two people form a link while handling tasks, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how financially strained young adults do low-cost dating in a inflation-era world.

Emotional spiral – Melting down when you feel swamped by life. You can lose it over a crush or split, venting all of your unreciprocated feelings.

The Letter D

DINK – Double income, no kids. Once a symbol of 80s young urban professional affluence, it refers to couples who opt out of parenthood to prioritize their own well-being. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Open communication – The antithesis of being guarded: embracing communication, honesty and openness.

F

Indicators

• Danger signals – Behavioral habits signaling a prospective partner is trouble. Examples include calling their exes unstable, bad gratuity habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Green flags – These actions validate your choice to pursue a partner. For instance following up to make sure you got home safe after a date, low screen time, owning a bed frame …
• Beige flags – These usually describe niche, largely benign idiosyncrasies. Examples include being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still carrying around a pen in their wallet, paying the rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you connect with someone who’s just as enthusiastic about documentaries about the WWII or physical media hoarding or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, meeting someone who despises the same stuff or individuals that you do (nothing builds intimacy faster than sharing a common enemy).

G

Geese – A musical group a typical Zoomer guy is into.

Ghostlighting – Someone who pops back into your life after a period of disappearing.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, accommodating and loyal. The uncommon partner who is liked by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's counterpart.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online subculture of men so preoccupied with self-pleasure that they attempt extended sessions, deliberately delaying orgasm so they can persist as long as possible.

The Letter H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A phenomenon describing many women’s increasing cynicism toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

High-value woman – An archetype championed by online male influencer figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and happily home-oriented, who seemingly has no ambitions of her own other than satisfying her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to see the whole “pessimism” thing better?

The Letter I

Ick factors – Random and frequently trivial repulsions that instantly kill any sense of desire.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else receive an extremely romantic act.

J

Jobs – These have not been this crucial in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “banker” is the ultimate catch: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd prefer partners in professions they see as being staffed by the more caring among us: nurses, teachers or counselors.

The Letter K

Locking lips – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has been around for 16m years. But the era of locking lips may be numbered since some gen Z desire fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find onscreen romance realistic.

Enhanced profile crafting – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using older (better) photos of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more important than it is. Also known as {